Apple Claim Chowder: Introduction

Apple has scheduled an Event for Tuesday, September 9, 2014. Apple’s Events attract critics the way a trailer park attracts tornados. Good analysis and insightful critiques are expected and welcome, however many critics merely repeat the same discredited arguments over and over and over again. Some people simply never learn from their mistakes. Which reminds me of a joke:

    An Apple critic with two very red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened.

    “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang,” he said. “But instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and put it to my ear.”

    “GEEZ!” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. “So, what happened to your other ear?”

    “Isn’t is obvious?” the critic replied. “I had to call you to schedule this appointment.”

Perhaps the above joke would be more apt if it were we, and not the critics, who had the red ears, for the critics seem to escape their repeated errors unscathed while it is we who end up getting burned year after year.

History is a very good teacher, but (it) has very few students. ~ Wael El-Manzalawy

This is the first in a series of articles that examines past claims and, having found them wanting, expounds upon lessons learned and unlearned. Future articles will group the critics’ claims into topics, but I’ll get things started by simply serving up some of the juiciest claim chowder of all time. Bon appétit.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Almost all of the linked material comes from the excellent iPhone Death Watch and iPad Death Watch Web sites maintained by AAPL Highly recommended reading.

Upset 3d puppet - harlequin, keeping for a head

Apple Claim Chowder

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. ~ Robert Benchley

Is there a toaster that also knows how to brew coffee? There is no such combined device, because it would not make anything better than an individual toaster or coffee machine. It works the same way with the iPod, the digital camera or mobile phone: it is important to have specialized devices. ~ Former Apple Vice President, iPod Division, now with Palm, Jon Rubenstein, September 27, 2005


We’ve learned and struggled for a few years here figuring out how to make a decent phone. PC guys are not going to just figure this out. They’re not going to just walk in. ~ Palm CEO Ed Colligan, commenting on then-rumored Apple iPhone, 16 Nov 2006

    In our view, the appearance of the iPhone (or something like it) poses little risk to RIM’s business. ~ Chris Umiastowski, TD Securities, 12 December 2006

…I am not sure how [the iPhone] will stand against Sprint’s Wimax`(when it successfully launches) and its phones, which I am looking forward much more than over-hyped Apple iPhone. ~ Bhaskar Chitraju, Indews Broadcast, 18 January 2007

    The big competitors in the mobile-phone industry such as Nokia Oyj and Motorola Inc. won’t be whispering nervously into their clamshells over a new threat to their business. The iPhone is nothing more than a luxury bauble that will appeal to a few gadget freaks. ~ Matthew Lynn, Bloomberg, 15 January 2007

Windowscompare$500 fully subsidized with a plan! I said that is the most expensive phone in the world and it doesn’t appeal to business customers because it doesn’t have a keyboard, which makes it not a very good email machine. ~ Steve Ballmer, Microsoft CEO, 17 January 2007

    The iPhone will not substantially alter the fundamental structure and challenges of the mobile industry. ~ Charles Golvin, Forrester Research Inc, January 2007

The honeymoon is over for the iPhone. ~ Tim Moynihan, Crave, the Gadget Blog from Cnet 11 January 2007

Last year Apple’s iPhone sales alone were larger than the revenues at 474 of the companies in the S&P 500 stock index. ~ Eric Chemi of Bloomberg Businessweek

The iPhone’s willful disregard of the global handset market will come back to haunt Apple. ~ Tero Kuittinen,, 18 January 2007

    I’m more convinced than ever that, after an initial frenzy of publicity and sales to early adopters, iPhone sales will be unspectacular… iPhone may well become Apple’s next Newton. ~ David Haskin, Computerworld, 26 February 2007

Apple should pull the plug on the iPhone… ~ John C. Dvorak, 28 March 2007

Nobody is completely worthless. Some can be used as bad examples. ~ John Tigges

Apple begins selling its revolutionary iPhone this summer and it will mark the end of the string of hits for the company. ~ Todd Sullivan, Seeking Alpha, 15 May 2007

How do you deal with [the iPhone}? How do they deal with us? ~ Ed Zander, Motorola CEO/Chairman 10 May 2007

We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves. ~ Eric Hoffer

What does the iPhone offer that other cell phones do not already offer, or will offer soon? The answer is not very much… ~ Laura Goldman, LSG Capital, 21 May 2007

The forthcoming (June 29) release of the Apple iPhone is going to be a bigger marketing flop than Ishtar and Waterworld combined. ~ David S. Platt, Suckbusters!, 21 June 2007

I may not agree with you, but I’ll defend to the death my right to tell you to shut up. ~ Andy Borowitz

Once the initial fever wears off, however, the bloom will really be off the rose, and sales will be disappointing (at least here in the U.S.). ~ Jim Louderback, PC Magazine. 6 June 2007

We Predict the iPhone will bomb ~ Porges, The Futurist, 7 June 2007

You may not be able to change the world, but at least you can embarrass the guilty. ~ Jessica Mitford

The iPhone is a sustaining technology relative to Nokia. In other words, Apple is leaping ahead on the sustaining curve [by building a better phone]. But the prediction of the theory would be that Apple won’t succeed with the iPhone. They’ve launched an innovation that the existing players in the industry are heavily motivated to beat: It’s not [truly] disruptive. History speaks pretty loudly on that, that the probability of success is going to be limited. ~ Clayton Christensen, Author of Innovator’s Dilemma, 28 June 2007

There’s a lot of rejoicing at Sprint, Verizon and T-Mobile [at the iPhone’s initial sales]. ~ IAG Research’s Roger Entner, 4 July 2007

Some never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge

Let’s face it, the Internet was designed for the PC. The Internet is not designed for the iPhone. ~ Steve Ballmer, Microsoft, 21 October 2009

    The tablet market has only succeeded as a niche market over the years and it was hoped Apple would dream up some new paradigm to change all that. From what I’ve seen and heard, this won’t be it. ~ John C. Dvorak, MarketWatch, 29 January 2010

I added it up and … like 800 people are going to buy the iPad. . . . ~ Molly Wood, CNet, 31 January 2010


If Apple makes a successful tablet, they will have accomplished what no other company before them has ever managed to do, which is why I am not optimistic. If I turn out to be wrong, I’ll gladly eat my words, but I’m pretty sure that I’m not wrong. ~ Alex Cook, Frontier Outlook, 28 January 2010

    Unless Apple has also developed some new type of power source, such as nuclear cells or magical hamsters on tiny spinning wheels for the iPad, don’t expect the claims about battery life to hold true. ~ John Breeden II, Government Computer News, 28 January 2010

You might want to tell me the difference between a large phone and a tablet. ~ Eric Schmidt, Google, 10 January 2010

The true way to be deceived is to think oneself more knowing than others. ~ La Rochefoucauld

You know, I’m a big believer in touch and digital reading, but I still think that some mixture of voice, the pen and a real keyboard – in other words a netbook – will be the mainstream on that. So, it’s not like I sit there and feel the same way I did with iPhone where I say, ‘Oh my God, Microsoft didn’t aim high enough.’ It’s a nice reader, but there’s nothing on the iPad I look at and say, ‘Oh, I wish Microsoft had done it. ~ Bill Gates, Microsoft, 10 February 2010

Nothing is more damaging to a new truth than an old error. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The Apple iPad is not going to be the company’s next runaway best seller. ~ John C. Dvorak, MarketWatch, 12 February 2010

The only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

—David Feherty

The iPad will remain an expensive, niche device compared to all-purpose netbooks…. (N)etbooks sales will still far outstrip those of the iPad. ~ Preston Gralla, PC World, 30 March 2010

The decline of the iPhone has started. And that will become clear long before the year 2010 is gone… ~ Tomi T Ahonen, Former Nokia Executive, Inc, 9 April 2010


(Apple) is not having an impact on Nintendo… ~ Reggie Fils-Aime, President, Nintendo of America, 7 April 2010

I admit, sales of the iPad beat my expectations. I didn’t think that this device would do that well, and I still think it’s an oversized iPod Touch. ~ Alex Cook, Seeking Alpha, 1 June 2010

Never miss a good chance to shut up. ~ Cowboy wisdom

It looks like the iPhone 4 might be their Vista, and I’m okay with that. ~ Kevin Turner, Chief Operating Officer, Microsoft, 14 July 2010

    If a user wants to walk from the kitchen to the dining room in her house, she simply walks through. It does not work like that in mobile–you have to go through the front door to get to the kitchen. iPhone has a home button which works like a go-back-to-front-door button. This is not a model that human beings are used to. People are spatial. ~ Peter Skillman, VP Meego User Experience and Services Design, Nokia, 20 September 2010

There could literally be millions of first-generation iPads gathering dust in people’s home offices already. This product is the tech industry’s biggest MacGuffin yet. ~ Paul Thurrott, Windows IT Pro, 23 October 2010

What you don’t know would make a great book. ~ Sydney Smith

I cannot see a need for the thing [iPad]. ~ John Dvorak, MarketWatch, 22 October 2010

A salad spinner would have been a better investment, [than an iPad] and I don’t even eat that much salad. ~ John Swansburg, Slate, 18 February 2011

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind. ~ H. L. Mencken

Apple is a company that has to come up with hit after hit after hit, every 12 to 18 months, but once you do the iPhone on Verizon, what’s the next thing past this? ~ Patrick Becker Jr, Becker Capital Management, 7 March 2011

    The reliance by Apple and Android phones on the ‘app’ as the central metaphor is outdated. ~ Chris Weber, President, head of North America, Nokia, 10 August 2011

As more developers reach consumers through platform-independent technologies such as HTML5, Apple’s app store could be cut out of the loop as customers gain freedom to transfer their chosen applications from one device to another. ~ Michael Holt, CFA, Morningstar, 28 Dec 2011

What we see is that youth are pretty much fed up with iPhones. Everyone has the iPhone. ~ Niels Munksgaard, Director of Portfolio, Product Marketing & Sales , Nokia, 13 Dec 2011

Nobody goes there anymore—it’s too crowded. ~ Yogi Berra

The following are three reasons the new iPad will be dead on arrival (DOA)… ~ Michael Li, The GadgetMasters, 11 March 2012

    I don’t think anyone has done a product that I see customers wanting. ~ Steve Ballmer, Microsoft, 25 Nov 2012

Siri could signal the beginning of the end for Apple. ~ Greg Satell, Forbes, 26 March 2013

    (Android) Not secure? It’s more secure than the iPhone. ~ Eric Schmidt, Google, 8 October 2013

Apple’s iOS 7 launch is fast becoming its most troubled mobile operating system update, increasing concern that the technology giant has lost some of its magic touch since co-founder Steve Jobs passed away two years ago. ~ Scott Martin and Alistair Barr, USA Today, 17 October 2013

iPhone accounts for 41.9% of US smartphone subscriber base, up from 31.3% a year ago – Apple CFO Luca Maestri, via @macjournals

[Android phones] are a great Christmas present to an iPhone user! ~ Eric Schmidt, Google, 24 November 2013

I know there’s a lot of noise because Apple did [64-bit] on their A7. I think they are doing a marketing gimmick. There’s zero benefit a consumer gets from that. ~ Anand Chandrasekher, SVP and Chief Marketing Officer, Qualcomm, 1 October 2013
Anand Chandrasekher has been quietly reassigned — and removed from the company leadership page on its website as of 25 Oct 2013.

My prayer to God is a very short one: “Oh God, please make my enemies ridiculous.” God has granted my wish. ~ Voltaire

Lessons Learned And Unlearned

True wisdom is less presuming than folly. The wise man doubteth often, and changeth his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubteth not; he knoweth all things but his own ignorance. ~ Akhenaton

The lesson here is to not take things on faith. Question everything. Facts should underlie every argument and logic should support that argument’s structure.

A man is getting along on the road to wisdom when he begins to realize that his opinion is just an opinion.

Beware the opinions of critics who are too sure of themselves, for it is most likely that they are also too full of themselves.

Doubt is often the beginning of wisdom. ~ M Scott Peck

Further, while it is always wise to question every opinion, it is not always wise to have an opinion on every question. Some things can only be answered in time.

Who is there who can make muddy waters clear? But if allowed to remain still, it will gradually clear itself. ~ Lao-tsu

Apple Claim Chowder Series:

Evolutionary Or Revolutionary
Business Models

Published by

John Kirk

John R. Kirk is a recovering attorney. He has also worked as a financial advisor and a business coach. His love affair with computing started with his purchase of the original Mac in 1985. His primary interest is the field of personal computing (which includes phones, tablets, notebooks and desktops) and his primary focus is on long-term business strategies: What makes a company unique; How do those unique qualities aid or inhibit the success of the company; and why don’t (or can’t) other companies adopt the successful attributes of their competitors?

68 thoughts on “Apple Claim Chowder: Introduction”

  1. It really seems like John Gruber popularized this term… I can’t help but think of him when you say Claim Chowder.

    1. I too think that John Gruber popularized the term “Claim Chowder”. I briefly tried to think of something better, but my imagination failed me. Perhaps others, can suggest something better in the comments, below.

  2. “A man is getting along on the road to wisdom when he begins to realize that his opinion is just an opinion.”

    True Wisdom.

  3. A wise person knows his views are opinions or theories, hence they may be in error.

    An honourable man recognizes and accepts that he has been proven to have erred.

    An honest man tells you that he erred.

  4. I’ve been following your blog, John, here at TechP because of the profound research that you put into it – and this is no exemption! Amazing! I’m now looking forward to the succeeding parts of Apple’s claim chowder.

    1. Thank you, Amir. I’ll admit that it took a great deal of time and effort to assemble the various quotes, but the real hero is AAPL who maintained the iPhone and iPad Death Watch web sites. I’m like a dwarf standing on their shoulders.

      I hope that you and others enjoy this series. I’m a bit afraid that it’s overkill — lots and lots and lots of claim chowder. Perhaps far too much to digest at a sitting. However, I wanted to take a shot at highlighting some of the critics’ most pernicious and persistant false claims. Listening to false prophets is one thing. Following them when their prophesies having proven to be wrong is another thing altogether.

      No one gets it right all the time. But why oh why we continue to give our time, attention and, worst of all, our respect to those who get it wrong EVERY time, I’ll never know.

      1. Then we’re all ants standing on your shoulders. Please, keep these articles coming!! My favorite of all the excerpts and quotes is:

        What we see is that youth are pretty much fed up with iPhones. Everyone has the iPhone. ~ Niels Munksgaard, Director of Portfolio, Product Marketing & Sales , Nokia, 13 Dec 2011

        Nobody goes there anymore—it’s too crowded. ~ Yogi Berra

        Somehow the more I read it the funnier and more profound it becomes. Bravo good sir, bravo.

  5. John C. Dvorak has an amazing gift in an industry dependent upon words, hopping about with his foot permanently fixed in the mouth.

    1. As long as there’s no penalty for doing so (that is, being so wrong so often) and people keep paying him, Dvorak will continue to do what has got him the notoriety he so craves.

    1. If this is an attempt to defend Dvorak then why not just post a link yourself?

      Then again if you’re being coy — I didn’t search for very long but my initial queries brought up pretty much nothing that’s positive about Dvorak — your comment makes sense.

      Dvorak’s perspective on Apple as a whole is largely negative with comments that when dissected convey a man harboring hell stew-like hatred and vitriol for the company. An article just 12 months old has him rationalizing why Apple didn’t resort to more cut-throat tactics to make sure no one could copy from the iPhone playbook and citing Microsoft’s bullish business plans from years past as a barometer.

      He even goes on to liken the iPhone to fickle nature of fashion suggesting the “fad” or “trend” will eventually die like acid wash jeans.

      I don’t know if it’s out there but I’d be shocked if Dvorak has ever been right about a failure on Apple’s part. Apple has been overwhelmingly successful dating back to the launch of the iPod. I suppose their social music service Ping and the launch of Apple Maps are blemishes on their decades-long record of success but hardly qualify as fatal enough to bring the company down.

      Example: there are companies that would kill to have the iPod right now. The device is all but dead in many consumers’ and analysts minds and yet this device gets more web traffic than the Blackberry and Windows Phone combined.

        1. Truly! The man is obsessed with Apple crashing and burning and my guess is he’ll never give up writing disparaging articles in the hopes that the company will crumble and fall as he puffs out his chest laying claim to have always been right.

          Apple is far from infallible but even the release of a so-called ho-hum product won’t be enough to damage the company’s reputation permanently. Even this naked photo scandal won’t hurt them in the long run.

          1. Actually, Dvorak couldn’t care less. He writes the way he does to intentionally rile up “Apple fans” – and they never fail to give him the page hits he and his editors/marketeers love.

  6. John, thanks for putting this together. I love tech pinions and I dare say – you get too less credit for the research you put together.
    It is not about just being a fan follower of a company as a consumer, but it is about how much you understand their business and ability to deliver positive results consistently to all stakeholders (employees, investors, consumers, supply chain, industry and last but not least environment) involved!

  7. Bo-ra works as a courting coach and has written What You got Incorrect About Your Love Life, a bestselling recommendation book. During the pandemic, many people got creative in ways of assembly folks, which has continued to be a development,” says Seltzer, a dating strategist, confidence therapist and image expert based in Los Angeles who hosts a podcast known as The Charisma Quotient. Get knowledgeable dating advice delivered proper to your inbox as soon as a day for 5 days. Discover out what’s taking place in Dating Advice Meetup teams world wide and begin assembly up with those near you. The teenagers are the time when most individuals first start experimenting with their sexuality. And when you grow to be too critical, the connection loses its enjoyable – and he will start to grow extra cold and distant. There isn’t any algorithm to courting, and even your favorite would you reasonably questions will not offer you the answer.

    But there are other purple flags that not solely seem innocent, but a natural a part of courting. As Joe Biden stopped for images with a young woman after delivering remarks at Irvine valley faculty, he put his arm on a younger lady’s shoulder and provided her some unsolicited dating advice. By now it is best to have a standards or an concept of your perfect lady. You actually have to grasp and express Deborah, my heart was filled with feeling “That! These are match relationship websites and may help you find the match you are looking for by completing full profiles. The chaotic, fast-transferring tempo of our culture has created similar mania within the dating area. The risk in this sort of teenage relationship dating far outweighs the advantages. In this fashion, there are many couples who’ve a relationship that is a mix of real looking and unrealistic, so there are naturally a lot of people who’ve expectations.

    However, the Redditch native hushes the gang to deal with asiame the damaged-hearted Cecilia, asking: “Who is that this particular person, how lengthy have you been together? The group cheers once more for Cecilia, who has since broken up together with her boyfriend and is seeking to reside elsewhere. We have put together this information to assist people who find themselves wanting to search out a protracted-time period relationship and finally, discover that particular individual to spend the rest of their lives with. Some could also be looking for love in all of the improper places, others will not be wanting at all while yet others may be hampered by character traits or habits. While we can’t consciously management our pupil measurement, we will at the least manipulate it. In addition, whereas working as a courting coach, she obtained a number of optimistic responses from people and her e-book on dating became a bestseller, so she gained an increasing number of confidence. “Yes, relationship can take a bit of successful on time and the wallet! What we must take away from this and the place this differentiates is that genetic appears to be like don’t matter, only the appearance that we create for ourself does matter. Don’t chase someone who isn’t good for you, no matter how a lot you like them.

    “If I had been to offer Bo-ra dating advice, I’d like to inform her that a relationship that makes you anxious is a relationship that eats away at your soul! Finish the date naturally, and inform her you enjoyed your time together – however don’t recommend one other date. A date is more than simply spending time together. When you had posted any false particulars from your side next it should affect your individual relationship at that point of time. Discovering the emotional stability to love yourself first will ensure your success in relationship after divorce. Are you able to get severe about relationship? “However, I don’t suppose they’re solely unrealistic. Is it cynical to think rom-coms always promote unrealistic expectations? How endeared to you’d you think an individual can be if you happen to checked out his / her on-line profile and find that will he / she would be the quiet type, loves community gardening and is a superb soccer and movie fan? It’s good to think earlier than you speak out. Most significantly, do not discuss exes, good or dangerous, because if you happen to hit it off there can be loads of time to share. It is at all times good to know the opposite individual’s preferences as properly.

  8. In having a restriction on the number of messages you’re asserting, “I don’t care how attractive she is. After a friend of mine up to date her Hinge profile to mention that she can beat anybody at Connect Four, her matches and messages skyrocketed. He was instructed that his information was the property of the service, and that the personal profile data that he sought was not present in any database. Later, the brand new proprietor confirmed to our Workplace that it had destroyed the entire complainant’s private info below its control. Our observe-up with the new proprietor revealed that the complainant’s data had been transferred to the brand new owner, including his profile data. For the reason that privateness coverage developed by the new proprietor included information on the safeguards, this side of the complaint was considered nicely-based and resolved. The gross sales settlement stipulated that the brand new owner would inherit all buyer profiles and their contacts (i.e., “the database”). Additionally, due to the marketing emails he had acquired, he alleged that the organization had not revered his request for the withdrawal of his consent for the collection, use and disclosure of his private data after he cancelled his settlement.

    Our Office discovered that the organization denied the complainant access to his private information in violation of Precept 4.9 of Schedule 1 of PIPEDA. Consequently, the complainant was provided with entry to sure of his private information that the new owner had found. After cancelling his membership to an online dating service, an individual requested that he be faraway from the service’s mailing checklist and have his information deleted. 2. The rules For Online Dating and 3. “”I can’t Consider Im Shopping for This Ebook””: A Commonsense Information To Online Dating. This ebook will enable you with sending first messages, organising your profile and supply more element than the content of this article. Its most notable acquisitions in recent times embrace Hinge in 2019 and The League final 12 months, and it’s all the time on the lookout for more offers. The way couples meet has drastically modified because the rise of the Internet within the 1990s. A survey of 5,421 adults conducted by Stanford University confirmed that between 1995 and 2017, the share of people that met their companions on-line rose from a mere 2% to a gigantic 39%. Grand View Analysis estimates that the worldwide online dating market was valued at $9.Sixty five billion last 12 months and is anticipated to grow at a compound annual development fee of 7.4% via 2030. Therefore, using TipRanks’ comparability tool, let’s check out two online dating stocks with more than 30% upside potential, according to analysts.

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  9. That’s zero. You will never meet them in your life, they are like robots. The portal has a database of hundreds of members from international locations like Mexico, Brazil, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Peru, Argentina, and extra – all trying to fulfill new people and perhaps even discover romance. The Andean Community (Comunidad Andina, CAN) is a customs union comprising the South American countries of Bolivia, Colombia, Ecuador, and Peru, originally established in 1969 because the Andean Pact, and then in 1996 because the Comunidad Andina. By far, essentially the most exciting feature on the positioning is ‘Send a Present.’ This is a unique service you should use to send small gifts to your favourite Argentinian lady, the Colombian man you’ve been texting with, or every other South American member you’re excited about. Firstly, as the name implies, AmoLatina is a Latin dating service and the main focus is on members of Latin origin.

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    The look and feel of your profile make a giant difference in terms of the efficiency of your relationship journey. Embrace some photos or videos and it’ll make the world of a difference. If attainable, make it a video chat to create the feeling of truly being together. With long-distance relationships, it’s more vital than ever to let your associate know at any time when you’re feeling insecure or sad. Not like some other courting portals, fees for the membership are reasonably priced. Also, if you discover an internet dating site that has the fitting features, you don’t have to fret about shedding your connection together with your future companion. As for support, you’ll be capable of finding most solutions within the FAQ section of the web site. Discover LDR virtual dates that you can take pleasure in together using video calls as a approach to attach you. House owners of iOS gadgets can talk with their potential companions using a mobile browser. It also lays out a few of the site’s Anti-Scam Coverage and provides details about the way to report suspicious exercise on the platform to get potential scammers banned from the location.

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  19. Hi! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog. Is it very hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Many thanks

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